Legume Lover Gifts

Bulk foods...mixed beans, 49 cents...assorted healthful legumes, 98 cents.

"She's passed out...quick! take her pulses!"

'Ah, Garbanzo, truly you are a noble bean.'

House of Beans.

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

But is it organic?

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'Congratulations on your 100% plant-based diet. I'm referring you to a botanist.'

Advocado

'All those vegetables Mom's been feeding me finally paid off. I'm a squash.'

At the market

"His mother had a great influence on him. She always made him eat his fruits and vegetables."

The discovery of asparagus.

"I'm rooting for the carrots."

"We're odd looking but just as good."

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

"Just a couple of ninety cent seed packets, and you can have fresh garden vegetables for heaven knows how long."

'What are you eating now?'

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

"No thanks, mom. I don't think I'll have any broccoli short cake."

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

"What!?! I like a nice salad every now and then, too. What of it?"

'I'm in the amusingly shaped vegetables department.'

Pea

'Needs more kale.'

'She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me...'

'He's all eyes!'

Runner Bean...

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

'I wouldn't bother. They're probably gluten-free vegetarians.'

'I never thought my dirt would turn on me like this.'

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"

"How would you like your soy protein, mixed tocopherols and methylcellulose patty?"