Lettuce Lovers Gifts

The BLTR (the bacon, lettuce, tomato, revolution)

Afloat, only 20% of iceberg lettuce is visible.

"It would be better with a protein, but add-ons are so expensive."

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

Advocado

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

Vegetarian Birthdays.

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

'Needs more kale.'

Chef picking salad leaves from a hanging basket outside his restaurant.

'She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me...'

"How come portion control doesn't apply to broccoli?"

Runner Bean...

'Radford, go in for Bloom. ... Uh-uh-uh! Finish your vegetables first!'

Produce Market. Lots of things are going on with the produce. The tomatoes, as usual, are having a fruit or veggie identity crisis. Though it makes no sense, the apples and oranges are constantly comparing themselves to one another. The plums are happy. Any assignment or position that comes their way is always the best. That potatoes want couches, of course. And the bananas think they should run the market government. Sure, a banana republic!

Tree's Tree Nursery. Get this. Dad is selling those goofy upside-down tomato planters. What idiot would buy them? Thanks! I'll let you know how it works! My idiotic bio teacher.

'Not here, Fred.'

"I think we can take you off the cabbage diet now"

"Jersey Tomatoes" vs. "Jersey toMAHtoes"

'Ah, Garbanzo, truly you are a noble bean.'

"In my previous life I was arugula."

"I'm pleased to say our dishes all have too much kale."

I grew up vegetarian. Wow. That takes work to stay strong. What motivates you? Hey, lettuce brain! Peer pressure.

Artichoking victim

'Oh, not much. Well, still dabbling a bit in commodities futures.'

Hydroponic Gardening

"Everywhere you look, there's a rate hike."

'Can you make me taste like broccoli?'

"She's passed out...quick! take her pulses!"

Pickled beets.

Throwing snowballs: Ow! That one had a potato inside!

"Heh, Trump likes his steaks well done with ketchup. Jesus."

'For heaven's sake Armitage - can't you just accept 2nd place in the best leek category?'

"Gimme a double burger between two burgers. And hold the lettuce; it only dilutes the experience."