Lettuce Lovers Gifts

The BLTR (the bacon, lettuce, tomato, revolution)

Afloat, only 20% of iceberg lettuce is visible.

"It would be better with a protein, but add-ons are so expensive."

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

Advocado

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

'Needs more kale.'

Chef picking salad leaves from a hanging basket outside his restaurant.

'She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me...'

"How come portion control doesn't apply to broccoli?"

Runner Bean...

'Radford, go in for Bloom. ... Uh-uh-uh! Finish your vegetables first!'

'Not here, Fred.'

"I think we can take you off the cabbage diet now"

"Jersey Tomatoes" vs. "Jersey toMAHtoes"

'Ah, Garbanzo, truly you are a noble bean.'

"I'm pleased to say our dishes all have too much kale."

"In my previous life I was arugula."

Artichoking victim

'Oh, not much. Well, still dabbling a bit in commodities futures.'

Hydroponic Gardening

"Everywhere you look, there's a rate hike."

'Can you make me taste like broccoli?'

Pickled beets.

"She's passed out...quick! take her pulses!"

"Heh, Trump likes his steaks well done with ketchup. Jesus."

"I find if I say we're having hashtag broccoli or hastag brussel sprouts, they are more apt to eat them."

Throwing snowballs: Ow! That one had a potato inside!

"Gimme a double burger between two burgers. And hold the lettuce; it only dilutes the experience."

'For heaven's sake Armitage - can't you just accept 2nd place in the best leek category?'

"It's not you. It's pea."

"Always eat your broccoli."