Legume Lover Pillows

Bulk foods...mixed beans, 49 cents...assorted healthful legumes, 98 cents.

"She's passed out...quick! take her pulses!"

'Ah, Garbanzo, truly you are a noble bean.'

House of Beans.

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

But is it organic?

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'Congratulations on your 100% plant-based diet. I'm referring you to a botanist.'

Advocado

"His mother had a great influence on him. She always made him eat his fruits and vegetables."

At the market

The discovery of asparagus.

"We're odd looking but just as good."

'All those vegetables Mom's been feeding me finally paid off. I'm a squash.'

"I'm rooting for the carrots."

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

"Just a couple of ninety cent seed packets, and you can have fresh garden vegetables for heaven knows how long."

'What are you eating now?'

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

"No thanks, mom. I don't think I'll have any broccoli short cake."

Vegetarian Birthdays.

"Florets! How lovely, I'd better put them in some boiling water."

'I'm in the amusingly shaped vegetables department.'

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

"What!?! I like a nice salad every now and then, too. What of it?"

Pea

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

'Needs more kale.'

'She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me...'

'He's all eyes!'

Runner Bean...

'I've saved you all the sprouts - Mum said they are very good for us!'

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"

'I wouldn't bother. They're probably gluten-free vegetarians.'