Lettuce Muncher Gifts

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'What are you eating now?'

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

Vegetarian Birthdays.

'She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me...'

'Bacon-butties are my favourite!'

Alphabet soup

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

"No matter how much gelato, pizza and tiramisu I eat, I gain weight. This Mediterranean diet just isn't working."

Man Can't Live By Beer Alone...That's Why There's Pretzels!!

The BLTR (the bacon, lettuce, tomato, revolution)

Grass: We lost some good men today!

I grew up vegetarian. Wow. That takes work to stay strong. What motivates you? Hey, lettuce brain! Peer pressure.

"It would be better with a protein, but add-ons are so expensive."

Hydroponic Gardening

'You know, I could really go for a wafer-thin mint.'

Storefront reading "Net 'n' Nosh (Formerly Books 'n' Java)"

"Of course, he always says it's not fit for consumption. He's a foodie."

"What've you got that's good for vegans?"

Lettuce referendum: "I voted romaine."

"The food must be good here. Look at the drool on the menus."

"With the pretzels I recommend a hearty burgundy, with the goldfish a blanc de blancs."

"One day junior, all this will be yours..."

Santa contemplates whether or not to leave presents.

Anatomy of a Salad

'Whoa! Our waiter's online and you should see what he's saying about your tip!'

'Keep your eye on the ball, Jake! Level swing! Rotate your hips! ... and ease up on the sunflower seeds!'

Rocket Lettuce.

'How many vegetables died for your stupid salad?'

The time has come for the revenge of the cows.

"I hereby declare that from now on, every food must be served in a lettuce cup."

Man eating 'after work mints'

Produce Dept. Notice! Take lettuce from top of stack, or heads will roll.

Afloat, only 20% of iceberg lettuce is visible.

'Stop calling us monsters already. We're comfort eaters!'