Leafy Green Enthusiast Gifts

'looks like the lettuce is starting to bolt.'

'For Sheila it wasn't enough just to be a vegetarian, that's why she became a ruminant.'

"Don't worry about all that spinach. After mom cooks it, there's only this much left."

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'Congratulations on your 100% plant-based diet. I'm referring you to a botanist.'

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

Veggie Hall of Fame.

Chef picking salad leaves from a hanging basket outside his restaurant.

Grass huggers.

Neurotics in the tropics

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

Supermarket: Leafs, Rail Leafs

"You can tell when people don't have pets, because they start to look like their plants."

'Hang on, we'd better leave this one alone: It's a protected species...'

I know they told me not to bark

Man and woman surrounded by ivy.

'I need to relax more.' - 'Plants are relaxing.' - 'I need a bonsai.' - '...and here's your care guide.' - 'Say what?' - 'My, my... you're a demanding little bastard, aren't you?'

"Yes, sir, it's Houstonia Michauxii and it prefers shade or semi-shade."

"That's one hole filled, only about three or four more to go."

Autumn Dog

"Are you coming in for dinner?"

Boyd's raking days were over thanks to his New England Leaf Hound.

'Ms Phelps, it's a jungle out there. Must we make one in here as well?'

"You're looking very autumnal."

'I see you've been eating lots of green leafy vegetables like I told you to.'

'This year the trees decided to consolidate autumn into one big leaf.'

When Leaves Start to Turn

Autumn Rain

'Hey, you should be thanking us for improving your cluster-to-leaf balance.'

Well, here it comes, one final indignity.

"It makes me feel sort of... guilty!"

Neighbors tossing leaves over fence.

Fall leaves blowing in the neighbor's yard.