Lawn Philosopher Gifts

'Have you ever heard the parable of the lawn left unmowed?'

'I'm letting it lie fallow this year.'

"So, how did that sign get there...?"

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

'When I said address the ball I didn't mean like that!'

'I'm afraid I'll fall and no one will hear me.'

Deer against capital punishment about to be shot.

'She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me...'

The Boys of Indian Summer

"So is that a slice of a hook? I never know which is which."

The Last Days of a Hydrangea

Saguaro Cacti.

Man watering with the 'Theory of Natural selection'.

Grass: We lost some good men today!

It MUST be Valentines Day!

"I #*#*#* hate gardening, I'd much rather be at work!!"

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

"What do you mean, we don't have an 'exit strategy'?!"

Dept. de Philosophie

"You forgot to adjust your hilling discs again, didn't you?"

'A little madness in the Spring is wholesome even for the King' -Emily Dickinson.

The ethics professor weeding his garden.

Stop and Smell the Roses

"I swear, we spend more time decided which squirrel to bark at than we do actually barking at it."

'Everybody's entitled to have a hobby. Mine's growing grass.'

Bug to bug: 'Do you think there is life on other plants?'

"Why can't they call it a 'Deer' or a 'Squirrel' market?"

Poultry Reading: 'Lo, Ye Sky, It Falls! Verily it does, watch ye out!'

"I'm sorry your girlfriend left you, Frank...but you must concentrate on the job!"

'Don't follow my example and become a beast of burden: Study hard at school!'

I see Jerry's had a heart attack!

'The effects of winter weather on the lambing season has disastrous side effects.'