Farm Yard Philosopher Gifts

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

''Animal Farm' by George Orwell is definitely my favourite book...'

"I always knew you'd come back."

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

'She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me...'

The Boys of Indian Summer

"I'm tardy? Whew! I was afraid I was going to be late for school!"

The Last Days of a Hydrangea

It MUST be Valentines Day!

Man watering with the 'Theory of Natural selection'.

'Aside from a crazed sheep now and then, this is a very risk-free profession.'

Stop and Smell the Roses

'A little madness in the Spring is wholesome even for the King' -Emily Dickinson.

"I swear, we spend more time decided which squirrel to bark at than we do actually barking at it."

"I've never trusted cows."

"Sometimes, son, the guilt inside builds up so much you have to vent the shame silo."

'I'm letting it lie fallow this year.'

Poultry Reading: 'Lo, Ye Sky, It Falls! Verily it does, watch ye out!'

'I've been experiencing a lot of deja moo.'

'Don't follow my example and become a beast of burden: Study hard at school!'

Nursery - Products That Help Things Grow... Products That Kill Things.

I wonder if there's life as we know it on other planets.

I see Jerry's had a heart attack!

I lactate, therefore I am.

The Hen Commandments.

'The effects of winter weather on the lambing season has disastrous side effects.'

Heaven's Cattlegrid.

"Storm’s comin’, Clara. Better get my absentee ballot in."

'These lousy free-range chickens think that they just own the whole world!'

'First of all, I want you to know that my door is always open...'

'Have you ever heard the parable of the lawn left unmowed?'

"Oh, I see - so it's wrong to cut down the Amazon Rainforest, but okay for me to weed, prune and mow our own garden?"