Farm Yard Philosopher Gifts

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

"I always knew you'd come back."

'She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me...'

The Boys of Indian Summer

"I'm tardy? Whew! I was afraid I was going to be late for school!"

The Last Days of a Hydrangea

Man watering with the 'Theory of Natural selection'.

It MUST be Valentines Day!

'Aside from a crazed sheep now and then, this is a very risk-free profession.'

"I swear, we spend more time decided which squirrel to bark at than we do actually barking at it."

'A little madness in the Spring is wholesome even for the King' -Emily Dickinson.

Stop and Smell the Roses

"I've never trusted cows."

"Sometimes, son, the guilt inside builds up so much you have to vent the shame silo."

'Don't follow my example and become a beast of burden: Study hard at school!'

Poultry Reading: 'Lo, Ye Sky, It Falls! Verily it does, watch ye out!'

'I'm letting it lie fallow this year.'

I wonder if there's life as we know it on other planets.

"Storm’s comin’, Clara. Better get my absentee ballot in."

I see Jerry's had a heart attack!

Heaven's Cattlegrid.

'The effects of winter weather on the lambing season has disastrous side effects.'

Nursery - Products That Help Things Grow... Products That Kill Things.

I lactate, therefore I am.

'First of all, I want you to know that my door is always open...'

'These lousy free-range chickens think that they just own the whole world!'

'Have you ever heard the parable of the lawn left unmowed?'

Old MacDonald had a farm, ee-yi-ee-yi-oh, and on that farm he had a mirror...