Farm Philosopher Gifts

I lactate, therefore I am.

'As long as you're looking, let me know when the sign is right for getting paid.'

"No wonder we never achieve anything. All we ever do is ruminate!"

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

''Animal Farm' by George Orwell is definitely my favourite book...'

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

'She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me...'

The Last Days of a Hydrangea

Grass: We lost some good men today!

Man watering with the 'Theory of Natural selection'.

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

It MUST be Valentines Day!

'Aside from a crazed sheep now and then, this is a very risk-free profession.'

"What do you mean, we don't have an 'exit strategy'?!"

"I swear, we spend more time decided which squirrel to bark at than we do actually barking at it."

Stop and Smell the Roses

Dept. de Philosophie

"You forgot to adjust your hilling discs again, didn't you?"

'A little madness in the Spring is wholesome even for the King' -Emily Dickinson.

"I've never trusted cows."

"Sometimes, son, the guilt inside builds up so much you have to vent the shame silo."

'I'm letting it lie fallow this year.'

'Don't follow my example and become a beast of burden: Study hard at school!'

Poultry Reading: 'Lo, Ye Sky, It Falls! Verily it does, watch ye out!'

'I've been experiencing a lot of deja moo.'

'The effects of winter weather on the lambing season has disastrous side effects.'

'These lousy free-range chickens think that they just own the whole world!'

Learning.

"Storm’s comin’, Clara. Better get my absentee ballot in."

I wonder if there's life as we know it on other planets.

'First of all, I want you to know that my door is always open...'

I see Jerry's had a heart attack!