Lawn Philosopher T-Shirts

'Have you ever heard the parable of the lawn left unmowed?'

'I'm letting it lie fallow this year.'

"So, how did that sign get there...?"

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

''Animal Farm' by George Orwell is definitely my favourite book...'

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

'When I said address the ball I didn't mean like that!'

'I'm afraid I'll fall and no one will hear me.'

Deer against capital punishment about to be shot.

'She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me...'

The Boys of Indian Summer

"So is that a slice of a hook? I never know which is which."

The Last Days of a Hydrangea

Grass: We lost some good men today!

It MUST be Valentines Day!

Saguaro Cacti.

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

"I #*#*#* hate gardening, I'd much rather be at work!!"

Man watering with the 'Theory of Natural selection'.

"What do you mean, we don't have an 'exit strategy'?!"

'A little madness in the Spring is wholesome even for the King' -Emily Dickinson.

Stop and Smell the Roses

Dept. de Philosophie

"You forgot to adjust your hilling discs again, didn't you?"

The ethics professor weeding his garden.

Bug to bug: 'Do you think there is life on other plants?'

'Everybody's entitled to have a hobby. Mine's growing grass.'

"I swear, we spend more time decided which squirrel to bark at than we do actually barking at it."

The 18-hole course is to the left and a 9-hole course is to the right --- Which do you want to play? I'll decide after my first tee shot?

"Why can't they call it a 'Deer' or a 'Squirrel' market?"

'Don't follow my example and become a beast of burden: Study hard at school!'

Poultry Reading: 'Lo, Ye Sky, It Falls! Verily it does, watch ye out!'

'I've been experiencing a lot of deja moo.'