Lawn Mowing Philosopher Gifts

How soon can we expect computers to mow the lawn.

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

''Animal Farm' by George Orwell is definitely my favourite book...'

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

'When I said address the ball I didn't mean like that!'

'She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me...'

Biker Lawn Mower

"So is that a slice of a hook? I never know which is which."

The Last Days of a Hydrangea

It MUST be Valentines Day!

Man watering with the 'Theory of Natural selection'.

"I #*#*#* hate gardening, I'd much rather be at work!!"

"Junior's moved back home! It took him less than a week to work out that the grass is not always greener on the other side..."

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

Cow Pilot.

'Despite her numerous advanced degrees, Dr.Bessie couldn't keep her mouth from watering.'

Stop and Smell the Roses

'A little madness in the Spring is wholesome even for the King' -Emily Dickinson.

'Everybody's entitled to have a hobby. Mine's growing grass.'

"I swear, we spend more time decided which squirrel to bark at than we do actually barking at it."

The 18-hole course is to the left and a 9-hole course is to the right --- Which do you want to play? I'll decide after my first tee shot?

A man imagines he looks like a farmer on a tractor on a ride-on mower and

'I've been experiencing a lot of deja moo.'

'Don't follow my example and become a beast of burden: Study hard at school!'

Poultry Reading: 'Lo, Ye Sky, It Falls! Verily it does, watch ye out!'

'I'm letting it lie fallow this year.'

'The effects of winter weather on the lambing season has disastrous side effects.'

I see Jerry's had a heart attack!

I lactate, therefore I am.

Heaven's Cattlegrid.

'These lousy free-range chickens think that they just own the whole world!'

'First of all, I want you to know that my door is always open...'

'My ball would be on the green if you hadn't been in the way!'

I wonder if there's life as we know it on other planets.