Mowing Philosopher Gifts

"I #*#*#* hate gardening, I'd much rather be at work!!"

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

'Ok..Ok...I'm putting the lawnmower back in the shed!'

'When I said address the ball I didn't mean like that!'

'She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me...'

"So is that a slice of a hook? I never know which is which."

The Last Days of a Hydrangea

'So you've finally got round to mowing the garden.'

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

Man watering with the 'Theory of Natural selection'.

'Despite her numerous advanced degrees, Dr.Bessie couldn't keep her mouth from watering.'

'Everybody's entitled to have a hobby. Mine's growing grass.'

Man look over neighbours fence at a man mowing his lawn. He is wearing a suit of armour to protect him from stones being thrown up by mower.

Stop and Smell the Roses

"I swear, we spend more time decided which squirrel to bark at than we do actually barking at it."

The 18-hole course is to the left and a 9-hole course is to the right --- Which do you want to play? I'll decide after my first tee shot?

'A little madness in the Spring is wholesome even for the King' -Emily Dickinson.

A man imagines he looks like a farmer on a tractor on a ride-on mower and

'I'm letting it lie fallow this year.'

'My ball would be on the green if you hadn't been in the way!'

'Have you ever heard the parable of the lawn left unmowed?'

"Oh, I see - so it's wrong to cut down the Amazon Rainforest, but okay for me to weed, prune and mow our own garden?"

Garden Shop: Growin' and Rarin' to Grow

How soon can we expect computers to mow the lawn.

With a fresh, homegrown tomato tasting this fantasic, it makes no sense that "garden variety" means "ordinary"!

"Why is that moron screaming so loud at something that isn't there?"

'I'm just sayin', with this cute little face and my big fluffy tail, I never really thought of myself as vermin!'

I finally found happiness in my own backyard and then I got evicted.

'Realist Trac, with 4 settings...'

"Fall makes him sad."

'And just how long have your melons been thumping back, Mrs. Thayer?'

"One man's apocalypse is another man's mandate."

"Parting the church lawn and the Red Sea are not exactly the same ."

Leaf Blowers: Loudly making yard work someone else's problem since the 1960's.