Mowing Gifts

A man imagines he looks like a farmer on a tractor on a ride-on mower and

'You want me to run things by you, dear?'

'Ok..Ok...I'm putting the lawnmower back in the shed!'

Planting by the Moon.

"Basically, I'm looking for a beer can holder with a mower built around it."

'I can't work with computers, on account of my animal magnetism.'

'So you've finally got round to mowing the garden.'

Cow Pilot.

"I #*#*#* hate gardening, I'd much rather be at work!!"

'Despite her numerous advanced degrees, Dr.Bessie couldn't keep her mouth from watering.'

God builds the first lawn mower.

Man look over neighbours fence at a man mowing his lawn. He is wearing a suit of armour to protect him from stones being thrown up by mower.

Ted tests the limits of his new mulching mower.

'Unfortunately, Mr.Beckons, your son Dean is very allergic to grass. . .'

"I've never seen Baldo so excited about mowing the lawn."

How soon can we expect computers to mow the lawn.

"Parting the church lawn and the Red Sea are not exactly the same ."

UFO

'The growing field of lawn enforcement'.

'Son, now that you're 16, I thought I'd let you drive.'

'Gerald loves an afternoon relaxing in the garden.'

"Larry's taking a victory lap around the crab grass before putting the mower away for the winter."

'This is where my dad goes to seed.'

"I'll just mow the yard then I'm running for the Democratic nomination."

"Here's me, sitting in my spanking new shed chatting to good old Len the lawnmower."

Boy on skateboard being pulled along by lawnmower.

Mowing Job Sucks.

'Steve hates getting ticks.'

Compass needed to navigate lawn mower in long grass.

Man look over neighbours fence at a man mowing his lawn. He is wearing a suit of armour to protect him from stones being thrown up by mower.

'Six: Grip steering wheel tightly.'

"Can I help you?"

Mohawk grass cutting

"The homeowners association called to remind you there's no shirtless lawnmowing past age forty-five."

Sadly Jason realises that small eggs will not improve the performance of his lawnmower!