Mowing Expert Gifts

"In this tournament we have created a different level of difficulty."

'Ok..Ok...I'm putting the lawnmower back in the shed!'

'Told you to get your mower fixed.'

'George! This way quick!'

"I #*#*#* hate gardening, I'd much rather be at work!!"

Cow Pilot.

'Despite her numerous advanced degrees, Dr.Bessie couldn't keep her mouth from watering.'

Try to extinguish the potting shed...brush wood ash into a neat pile - it will make valuable plant food.

I'm starting a lawn-mowing service instead of going to camp. Excellent. Can I have a loan to get started? What for? Gas can, tool cart, mower blade, sharpening and insurance in case I cut off my foot or someone's prized peony. Maybe we can afford summer camp. It's a bargain.

God builds the first lawn mower.

A man imagines he looks like a farmer on a tractor on a ride-on mower and

With their only child off to college, the Gilmonts each suffered empty-nest syndrome in their own way.

"Ahh, if I'm not much mistaken. The sound of a Lawn Chief 420. Fitted with a 3.5 horse power, Briggs and Stratton engine. Electronic ignition, variable valve timing and a 55 litre grass box. Mmm don't you just love our Sunday mornings dear?"

"Yeah, your drone is cool. But can you fly it upside down and cut the grass?"

"Honey, you’ve got to see this one she just left on the neighbor’s lawn—it’s perfect, like showroom condition." "Dan loved his dog."

Ted tests the limits of his new mulching mower.

Incompetent gardeners cause havoc

'Unfortunately, Mr.Beckons, your son Dean is very allergic to grass. . .'

"I've never seen Baldo so excited about mowing the lawn."

'Yes of course he can borrow my lawn mower just as long as he only uses it in my garden...'

"Parting the church lawn and the Red Sea are not exactly the same ."

'That one's for a man with a very large lawn, it's fitted with sat nav.'

Get off my lawn

How soon can we expect computers to mow the lawn.

Bovine Fast Food

Break up the hard soil around plants...and do everything possible to provide moisture...

"I'll just see how Jeff is coming along with the main course."

'The growing field of lawn enforcement'.

"It all started when the neighbour bought a leaf blower..."

'Well Philip what's my present? You know what they say about girls and diamonds.'

Blades of grass watching horror movie of lawnmower cutting grass.

Mower Fraud!

'If we keep the grass short, predators are less likely to sneak up unnoticed...'

'No, no, no! I didn't want a buzz cut! I just wanted a little off the top!'

'Of course I hate to work in the garden, but I've been blackmailed - my wife wanted me either to mow the lawn or to have sex with her.'