Lawn Expert Gifts

Woman coaxing husband into mowing lawn by dangling a bottle of beer in front of him.

'Yes of course he can borrow my lawn mower just as long as he only uses it in my garden...'

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

"First time pruning?"

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

Yardless: Please help

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

I want to rip out our lawn and plant a wild meadow. And I want lost of well-mown grass. What do you recommend? Nursery open. Just a sec. I'll check with my dad. No way! Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm not suggesting a marriage counselor!

'Ok..Ok...I'm putting the lawnmower back in the shed!'

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

Lawnmower

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

'Congratulations! Our yard's been declared a national wilderness area!'

A Mix Up Between the Buggy and Lawn Mower.

A man repeatedly pulls the start cord on his lawn mower until it falls apart.

"Can you cut the grass but leave the daisies?"

"Mulch madness"

"When will somebody cut the grass?"

"The election's over, Trump won, the illegals are being deported and I'm here for one of them there high-paying American jobs he promised."

Couple who have confused their baby's pram and the lawn mower.

A sign on the front lawn of a house reads "Keep off the chemicals".

'Hey, are you like me? Do you hate mowing around trees? ell, then THIS is the machine for you!'

'Told you to get your mower fixed.'

"Must get a longer cable."

"The gods seem angrier than usual today."

Three different categories of lawnmower.

Gardener's Calendar: Try to put the other things back...

"Beware of God"

A man raking his lawn watches as the leaves climb back into the trees.

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

"Al emerged from his man cave and saw crabgrass. That means 6 months of obsessing about crabgrass."

'George! This way quick!'

Grandpa gets more than he bargained for when his lawnmower takes flight as a helicopter would.