Mower Enthusiast Gifts

'The growing field of lawn enforcement'.

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

"I didn't spark joy."

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

"Mind the whale, dear."

'Stop complaining woman, you wanted a boating holiday!'

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

I want to rip out our lawn and plant a wild meadow. And I want lost of well-mown grass. What do you recommend? Nursery open. Just a sec. I'll check with my dad. No way! Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm not suggesting a marriage counselor!

'Slip Ahoy!'

A sign on the front lawn of a house reads "Keep off the chemicals".

Rodin's Cattle-Grid

"Just what is a runcible spoon?"

(I ride a harley, I drive a porsche, I smoke cigars, I drink martinis...) (So, ….You're impotent?)

"The gods seem angrier than usual today."

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

'Look at those arms! I was born to ride a Harley Davidson!'

Beware of the Lawn

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

'I can't get my husband to water the lawn.'

Cars follow the sign to the mall rather than the sign to the manger.

I see you caught the fish, but the boat got away!

Estate Agent - This house that's 'just what we are looking for' is ours

"Basically, I'm looking for a beer can holder with a mower built around it."

"I'm turning into my mother, and it's awesome!"

Biker At Museum

'Will the surgery leave a scar?'

"Productivity may be up but I miss seeing people miserable."

'When I said attached the anchor to something heavy I didn't mean your Uncle Barry!'

St Peter: 'The bike can stay. You, on the other hand, aren't on the list.'

"Lately, I've thinking about getting a motorcycle ... "

"Admit it, you're lost!"

'You're out of '50 Great Years of Mindless Consumerism?' How about 'Celebrating America's Shopping Malls?' That one, too?'

Thames Pizza

'This veldt makes me worry about the condition of our yard back home.'

'We're dangerous when we shop. We're really really dangerous when we don't shop.'