Mowing Philosopher Pillows

"I #*#*#* hate gardening, I'd much rather be at work!!"

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

'Ok..Ok...I'm putting the lawnmower back in the shed!'

'When I said address the ball I didn't mean like that!'

'She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me...'

"So is that a slice of a hook? I never know which is which."

The Last Days of a Hydrangea

'So you've finally got round to mowing the garden.'

Man watering with the 'Theory of Natural selection'.

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

'Despite her numerous advanced degrees, Dr.Bessie couldn't keep her mouth from watering.'

Man look over neighbours fence at a man mowing his lawn. He is wearing a suit of armour to protect him from stones being thrown up by mower.

Stop and Smell the Roses

"I swear, we spend more time decided which squirrel to bark at than we do actually barking at it."

'A little madness in the Spring is wholesome even for the King' -Emily Dickinson.

'Everybody's entitled to have a hobby. Mine's growing grass.'

A man imagines he looks like a farmer on a tractor on a ride-on mower and

'I'm letting it lie fallow this year.'

'My ball would be on the green if you hadn't been in the way!'

'Have you ever heard the parable of the lawn left unmowed?'

Garden Shop: Growin' and Rarin' to Grow

"Fall makes him sad."

"Why is that moron screaming so loud at something that isn't there?"

'I'm just sayin', with this cute little face and my big fluffy tail, I never really thought of myself as vermin!'

How soon can we expect computers to mow the lawn.

'And just how long have your melons been thumping back, Mrs. Thayer?'

"One man's apocalypse is another man's mandate."

'Realist Trac, with 4 settings...'

"Parting the church lawn and the Red Sea are not exactly the same ."

Leaf Blowers: Loudly making yard work someone else's problem since the 1960's.

'You were right - it's shallow rooting but spreading'