Law Enforcer's Companion Gifts

'I said to recite the alphabet. You may not google it!'

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

Next camera crew 5 mins

"Do you know why I pulled you over? Do you? Do you? Yes, you do."

'Can I have your autograph...?'

"You're under arrest for breaking the law of gravity! You have the right to..."

"Whack him. And if you can't whack him, redact him."

Life in the Fast Lane.

Don't Try Anything Funny.

'This is a phone poll! Are you in favor of a ban to drive and use a cell phone at the same time?'

"Tell me about your fear of policemen."

It's amazing how people slow down when you point a hair dryer at them.

"Yeah, well, you sure don't drive like a slow loris."

'I hate frisking magicians!'

"I've only had eighteen pints and can drive perfectly well osifer...why don't you go and arrest some real criminals?!"

"My people will get back to your people."

'Call for back-up.'

"I'm giving you a fine for illegal parking. I don't care if this is a traffic jam."

"Very well done, Samuels. But next time, don't forget your handcuffs."

Just doing my bit towards breaking up the banks...

I've heard of on-line banking, but I think this may be the first ever attempt at an armed, on-line bank robbery!"

Early Profiling

'It's for my glaucoma.'

'I'm sorry, Mum. But, if I let you off, I'll have to let everyone's mum off.'

'...A vehicle clocked at more than 1,800 miles per hour!'

"You're my top enforcer, Donahue, but I have to let you go. The word on the street is cultural appropriation."

'I'm sorry, Catherine, but my feelings for you have changed since you reported me for stealing cable.'

No Parking.

"Confound it! "Shoot first and ask questions later" doesn't apply to the interrogation room!"

'Police Navidad!'

"Do I get the reward if I hand myself in..?"

Drunk police officer

Policeman receiving an award of a truncheon

Crime Review - 'And here's one of us celebrating a bank heist.'

Boy caught by a policeman