Late-night Show Host Gifts

Showbiz Awards

'It's one of Larry King's earliest shows.'

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

Adam and Eve on a Talk Show

"It was a cheese and wine party but the mice got there first!"

The President Elect approved by 3 out of 4 talk show hosts!

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

"That concludes our broadcast day. Go to bed."

Coming up: Bush and Kerry will debate on 'saturday night live'...and whoever gets the most laughs will be the winner.'

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

"So—who are you angry at currently?"

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

"... And in Canada today ... nothing happened."

"I wanted a partner... I got a co-host."

LATE NIGHT WITH DAVID MAMET

'We'll have to end it there, I'm sorry - we're running out of time.'

Jerry Springer of biblical times.

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

"When did you first notice you were larger than life?"

'I'm not sure how you managed to burn a bowl of cereal.'

Men discussing a book on a chat show

Dr. Phil takes it home.

TV SALES, 'Will the violence chip block out Glenn Beck?'