Late Night Shows Gifts

"That concludes our broadcast day. Go to bed."

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

"And now, for your entertainment, I will drink a glass of water while Rempert, here, remains eerily silent."

Applause

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

"We're gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes."

Succession 2

'You've got the wrong idiot, number.'

"So—who are you angry at currently?"

'Because it was there, Dave, because it was there.'

'The best gig I can get you for your comeback, Lazarus, is DJ in the graveyard slot.'

'You know things are screwed up when people take late-night comedians seriously and politicians as a joke.'

"Roll over. Your Zs are looking like Ns."

'What do you MEAN this IS the show?!! Let me see the tickets!'

'This has a great ending...he shoots her.'

"This next song is called - 'I want to kill you'."

'You see son, it's jobs like these that give us a bad name...'

'Is there a fireman in the house?'

"Ok, ok, how's everyone feeling tonight besides a thousand dollars poorer?"

Franz Kafka does stand-up...

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

'You said to come back once I got my act together.'

'I don't leave until I've heard all 25 songs.'

"This one's for me."

"We've just crossed the line between binge viewing and OCD viewing."

"When Van Gogh had insomnia he created masterpieces."

"You're on kid. Break a string!"

Intramission

Street musician: 'Opening in VEGAS next week'.

A magician sees his suitcase with swords in it on the luggage conveyor belt.

Antiques for Oldies: Squeal Now.

"Come on, Baldo...get up. It's twenty to eleven."

The Great Banzinni discovers the oldest trick in the book.

'I hope he doesn't pick on ME!'