Late-night Tv Gifts

Items From the Jay Leno Fan Club

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

"Come on, Baldo...get up. It's twenty to eleven."

"That concludes our broadcast day. Go to bed."

'You've got the wrong idiot, number.'

Night-shift entrance

'Because it was there, Dave, because it was there.'

"So—who are you angry at currently?"

'You know things are screwed up when people take late-night comedians seriously and politicians as a joke.'

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

"Tia Carmen, I think I'm growing up. I ate five slices of cold pizza at 3 in the morning...and I woke up with a stomachache."

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

'I don't leave until I've heard all 25 songs.'

Mouse shopping after hours

'You're not calling the Help Desk again, are you?'

'Ready, steady, Operate'

'Turn me back into a lovely assistant right now Martin.'

After hours TV.

'I promised my Dad I'd be home by ten but I didn't say if that was P.M. or A.M..'

The Cat that Ate the Canary, 3 a.m.

"The trouble with this town is there is no day life."

"Boy o boy, there's really nothing worth watching on TV late at night..."

'Dracula watches his first late night horror show.'

'Why do they call them 'soaps'? All they do is dig up dirt.'

"Mijo, just do what you always do before you write a paper...it's obviously working!"

"Are the kids asleep?"

'Never, Ever...try to figure out the meaning of life in the middle of the night.'

'Ahmadinejad strikes me as the kind of man Jay Leno makes jokes about...'

The late bird orders a take away.

"I know a lot of people will say, 'Oh, no—not another book about cats.'"

"How did you like the midnight movie?"

'So! You're still watching those talk shows after I told you to stop!'