Late-night Tv Watcher Gifts

'Dracula watches his first late night horror show.'

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

Tree house.

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

Fishermen

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

This is a great game --- All except for that blimp. It keeps reminding me I've already broken my diet resolution. Pizza. Chips.

"Maybe you set it up wrong."

'Och lye the news'

'The program is stupid, primitive, embarrassing, and boring. I want to buy a new telly.'

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

'It's 10:00. Do you know where your kids are?'

'And now on the comedy channel Jose Mourinho's latest outburst.'

'Fixed the leg on the telly yet?'

"He's an indoor cat."

Please stand by. As stocks soar, our announcer is having a fit of the giggles.

"I'm used to falling asleep with the TV on. Read me an infomercial."

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

'Now ask yourself Gerald, do we really need ALL these channels?'

"So—who are you angry at currently?"

Couch and Potato

"Would you mind adjusting the vibrate on your phone? There's a seismologist on TV claiming there's been an earthquake in our neighborhood."

'Because it was there, Dave, because it was there.'

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

'...And as suburban sprawl continues to grow, many people are finding themselves living uncomfortably close to their wildlife neighbors.'

"WIFI, Amazon, credit cards. Pretty much every password is named after me."

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."