Late-night Tv Pillows

Items From the Jay Leno Fan Club

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

"Come on, Baldo...get up. It's twenty to eleven."

'You must have been wearing your beer googles.'

"That concludes our broadcast day. Go to bed."

'You've got the wrong idiot, number.'

Night-shift entrance

'Because it was there, Dave, because it was there.'

"So—who are you angry at currently?"

'You know things are screwed up when people take late-night comedians seriously and politicians as a joke.'

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

"Tia Carmen, I think I'm growing up. I ate five slices of cold pizza at 3 in the morning...and I woke up with a stomachache."

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

'I don't leave until I've heard all 25 songs.'

Mouse shopping after hours

'I promised my Dad I'd be home by ten but I didn't say if that was P.M. or A.M..'

David Letterman

After hours TV.

'Turn me back into a lovely assistant right now Martin.'

David Letterman

'Ready, steady, Operate'

The Cat that Ate the Canary, 3 a.m.

'You're not calling the Help Desk again, are you?'

'Dracula watches his first late night horror show.'

"Boy o boy, there's really nothing worth watching on TV late at night..."

'Why do they call them 'soaps'? All they do is dig up dirt.'

"The trouble with this town is there is no day life."

Rich Hall.

"Mijo, just do what you always do before you write a paper...it's obviously working!"

"Are the kids asleep?"

'Never, Ever...try to figure out the meaning of life in the middle of the night.'

Jay Leno

'Ahmadinejad strikes me as the kind of man Jay Leno makes jokes about...'

"I know a lot of people will say, 'Oh, no—not another book about cats.'"

'Do you think the country was better off under Leno and Letterman, or under Fallon and Colbert?'