Late-night Tv Fan Pillows

'Newspaper? Cable News? Actually, I keep abreast of current events by watching late-night tv comics!'

"I know a lot of people will say, 'Oh, no—not another book about cats.'"

Trump Fatigue

After hours TV.

'Ahmadinejad strikes me as the kind of man Jay Leno makes jokes about...'

Jay Leno

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

"So—who are you angry at currently?"

'Because it was there, Dave, because it was there.'

TV Situations vacant.

Dr. Phil takes it home.

'You know things are screwed up when people take late-night comedians seriously and politicians as a joke.'

Late Night with Patrick O'Brian

'With the kind cooperation of the underworld, we present live, for the first time on TV, an actual holdup.'

Moses' TV guide.

"Well, now we know what Letterman's doing, what are we doing?"

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

David Letterman

I lost as a contestant on the quiz show, but they gave me this lovely parting gift...

Liz Hurley

It's on. My new favorite game show! Welcome to: Garbage, recycling or compost?! Dana from New York you can walk away with $10,000 or try to double the green! Double, please. Okay, Dana, here's your object: A takeout container from a local restaurant. Garbage, recycling or compost? Geez. I'm guessing it would depend on whether it's got some cardboard or it's fully biodegradable. Final answer? Recycling. Wrong. Garbage! I knew it. Ridicule her! You've lost your green, loser! I'm sorry. I try so ha

'He's really putting that media studies degree to good use.'

'Well, it WAS worth nine thousand dollars. Sorry about that.'

David Letterman

"Come on, Baldo...get up. It's twenty to eleven."

99 Dalmations - Edited for television.

'Too much TV, maybe. Is there a John Wane marathon going on?'

'If you smiled in the mornings, you'd come up in the ratings, too.'

'Face it, 24 hour grocery stores were made for people like us.'

"Synchronized sitting"

Employee Survival School

Televised Insomnia Benefit Telethon puts couple to sleep.

"Boy o boy, there's really nothing worth watching on TV late at night..."

"The reason it's going to keep flashing on and off is that we love you, and we want you to love us, too."