Late-night Show Fan Pillows

"So—who are you angry at currently?"

'Because it was there, Dave, because it was there.'

'You know things are screwed up when people take late-night comedians seriously and politicians as a joke.'

"When Donald Trump said it, you said 'Politically Incorrect' was a welcome change."

Applause

Adam and Eve on a Talk Show

"Tell me, Chuck, is barbarism the natural state of mankind, and will it ultimately triumph?"

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

"You'll regret saying that, I'll get my own back in tomorrow's performance - you'll never work again!"

Men discussing a book on a chat show

"Sorry, you're not cut out to be a mime artist."

"Granted, there's no business like show business, but that's not the business I know."

"So, colony collapse disorder - how funny is it?"

"Thanks Dave. I don't know about you folks, but I can feel it coming in the air tonight."

"Your Honor, the witness, in my opinion, has failed to establish credibility."

"Well I think the Real question is..."

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

"I see myself as a lot like Garbo, but very much a people person!"

Retired Talk Show Host.

'Sorry, viewers, I was going to show you one I made earlier but it's been scoffed by the second assistant sound engineer.'

"That's what I call an off-off-off-off-off Broadway show!"

'So...you claim Farmer Jones kept you locked up naked in a dirty sty, fed nothing but garbage and repetitively called you a filthy swine!'

Good Morning Britain has just achieved something previously thought impossible...by making Piers Morgan the most likeable man on screen.

'We've got 'Jumpin' Jake' Stevens on drums, 'Slick' Chuck on bass and 'Wasted Pete' Walthons on the trumpet.'

Life is better with a laugh track and graphics.

'I stopped watching Sesame Street the second I found out it was educational.'

Ostrich TV.

'Alan's claim to fame is that he was once a Jay Leno punch line.'

"How about that! Wanda, you also landed on cheese."

After hours TV.