Late Night Viewing Pillows

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

Fishermen

"That concludes our broadcast day. Go to bed."

"Maybe you set it up wrong."

'You've got the wrong idiot, number.'

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

'It's 10:00. Do you know where your kids are?'

'And now on the comedy channel Jose Mourinho's latest outburst.'

Binge Watch

'Fixed the leg on the telly yet?'

"I loved the bit where you hid under the seat."

'The program is stupid, primitive, embarrassing, and boring. I want to buy a new telly.'

"He's an indoor cat."

"I'm used to falling asleep with the TV on. Read me an infomercial."

"So—who are you angry at currently?"

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

'Now ask yourself Gerald, do we really need ALL these channels?'

'Because it was there, Dave, because it was there.'

Couch and Potato

'He gets confused switching channels between the World series and NFL games.'

'During the next commercial, I'd like to talk to you about your childhood.'

"See, Honey, I told you that TV would fit in this room!"

Remote control wars.

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

"Can't stop watching. That ribbon is amaaazing..."