Late-nighter Gifts

'I promised my Dad I'd be home by ten but I didn't say if that was P.M. or A.M..'

"The trouble with this town is there is no day life."

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

"It was a cheese and wine party but the mice got there first!"

'You've got the wrong idiot, number.'

'Our interns work extremely long hours. The harness will help keep them awake during your operation.'

"I finally got that order off Benson last night. He signed it with a chopstick and soya sauce."

"It's just - this McDonald's closes at midnight."

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

'This fridge is fitted with CCTV.'

David Letterman

'Good evening sir.Just wondering if you'd like to sample Night-Mart's new range of A-positive.'

'I don't leave until I've heard all 25 songs.'

'Well, Dad, it's 2:00 AM and we've been messing with her all night...'

Unbeknown to other, Thoreau would sometimes, in the middle of the night, sneak out for a few odds and ends.

'Face it, 24 hour grocery stores were made for people like us.'

Wife uses guillotine to trap husband sneaking in late at night.

"Back here in 30 minutes?"

'Yes, she's still doing it, Dr. Christiansen....'

'Would you believe, all this is just part of a new reality show?'

Overnight Programming

'That's the last time I have cheese for supper...!'

Diet Enforcer

I know you wanted a virgin but it's all I could find at this time on a Friday night.

'Hope 2010 is living up to your bubbly enthusiasm of last night and early this morning'

"It's all set. If your husband tries to get into the fridge after 9pm he'll receive an electrical shock

"I'm sorry you've got a sudden craving for nachos, Mrs. Hacksburry, but I really don't want to open the store right now!"

'The students must be back then.'

"You can stop holding sir, everyone has gone home."

Ice Cream. Cakes. Pies. Food trucks serving sweets come out at night. The streets are desserted after dark!

'Don't wait up for me, Dear. I'm taking a wok on the wild side.'

3 a.m. A knock on the door. It's the police. He feared the worse. Might have to share the last piece of cake.

'I forgot my keys!'

"Mijo, just do what you always do before you write a paper...it's obviously working!"

Man and dog both have leashes.