Late Night Caller Gifts

'Yes, she's still doing it, Dr. Christiansen....'

In basket-case.

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

'You must have been wearing your beer googles.'

"It was a cheese and wine party but the mice got there first!"

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

'You've got the wrong idiot, number.'

Kitty's Coffee Shop

"Roll over. Your Zs are looking like Ns."

"I finally got that order off Benson last night. He signed it with a chopstick and soya sauce."

"Tia Carmen, I think I'm growing up. I ate five slices of cold pizza at 3 in the morning...and I woke up with a stomachache."

'I don't leave until I've heard all 25 songs.'

Mouse shopping after hours

I know you wanted a virgin but it's all I could find at this time on a Friday night.

'Turn me back into a lovely assistant right now Martin.'

Overnight Programming

'I promised my Dad I'd be home by ten but I didn't say if that was P.M. or A.M..'

The Cat that Ate the Canary, 3 a.m.

'That's the last time I have cheese for supper...!'

Diet Enforcer

"Mother, you were right."

"It's all set. If your husband tries to get into the fridge after 9pm he'll receive an electrical shock

"You can stop holding sir, everyone has gone home."

"I don't have to explain myself to you."

"The trouble with this town is there is no day life."

'Why yes, I would like to buy double glazing...'

'The students must be back then.'

'Don't wait up for me, Dear. I'm taking a wok on the wild side.'

"Mijo, just do what you always do before you write a paper...it's obviously working!"

'Hello. You've reached the twenty-four hour toll-free hotline.'

The late bird orders a take away.

11pm chiller cabinet of last resort.

The Starving Night

Man in cell phone shop - 'Do you have a phone that just phones?'

Two men arguing on a train journey