Late Night Caller Gifts

'Yes, she's still doing it, Dr. Christiansen....'

In basket-case.

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

"It was a cheese and wine party but the mice got there first!"

'You've got the wrong idiot, number.'

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

Kitty's Coffee Shop

"Roll over. Your Zs are looking like Ns."

"I finally got that order off Benson last night. He signed it with a chopstick and soya sauce."

"Tia Carmen, I think I'm growing up. I ate five slices of cold pizza at 3 in the morning...and I woke up with a stomachache."

'I don't leave until I've heard all 25 songs.'

Mouse shopping after hours

Diet Enforcer

"Mother, you were right."

'Turn me back into a lovely assistant right now Martin.'

The Cat that Ate the Canary, 3 a.m.

'That's the last time I have cheese for supper...!'

'I promised my Dad I'd be home by ten but I didn't say if that was P.M. or A.M..'

Overnight Programming

I know you wanted a virgin but it's all I could find at this time on a Friday night.

"It's all set. If your husband tries to get into the fridge after 9pm he'll receive an electrical shock

"The trouble with this town is there is no day life."

"You can stop holding sir, everyone has gone home."

'The students must be back then.'

'Why yes, I would like to buy double glazing...'

"I don't have to explain myself to you."

'Don't wait up for me, Dear. I'm taking a wok on the wild side.'

"Mijo, just do what you always do before you write a paper...it's obviously working!"

The Starving Night

11pm chiller cabinet of last resort.

'Hello. You've reached the twenty-four hour toll-free hotline.'

The late bird orders a take away.

Man in cell phone shop - 'Do you have a phone that just phones?'

'Just another young couple out burning the midnight rubber.'

"I used to have insomnia -- Now I just stay up really late."