Midnight Caller Gifts

'Hello...Dr Smith...this is...Fred Yomp's computer...'

"Thank God! Someone to network with!"

"Are you crazy? I can’t tell her that!"

Midnight Basketball

''Romantic'? No -- but it makes me feel like having a CROISSANT!'

"Hi..just ringing to see if you got my e-mail?"

"Do you want the last piece, or can I have it?"

A boy who doesn't want to put down his drum while he prays

Bedside Manna.

The downside of the cupcake bed.

"Yes I really do need a glass of water. My duvets on fire."

'I knew I needed help when I started going to fast food places only at night so I wouldn't have to share with sea gulls.'

Game Addiction

'This fridge is fitted with CCTV.'

'Oh, it's about what I expected...I'm on hold for eternity to some tech rep in India.'

"Congratulations! For checking the fridge 30 times in under an hour, you've won something that you actually want to eat!"

"People are inherently complicated, and if you eat it late enough at night, cereal can be dinner and breakfast!"

'I woke up in February, and couldn't get back to sleep, so I got up, killed and ate a moose.'

'You were up four times last night.'

"They were known as the tribe that didn't sleep."

"I was just... uh... looking for the low-fat yogurt."

Diet Enforcer

'That's not the reaction I'm expecting when I yell bloody-murder in the middle of the night!'

'I have to hang up now. I'm getting some static on another line.'

Health Centre/All Night Stress Counselling

"You're home, dear. We don't have room service."

Al, do you ever go back in time and try to pinpoint moments when you made bad life choices? Actually, after an episode of gastric distress this morning, I journeyed back in time to last night. I pinpointed midnight as the moment, and I pinpointed pizza as a bad life choice.

"Late night snack? No, I...I was just checking expiration dates, dear!"

'Yes, she's still doing it, Dr. Christiansen....'

Alexander Graham Bell receives his first telephone call.

Bingo Addicts...

"Relax! The poor thing is only taking a breather on his way south!"

'zzz... nyarrrgh... fwa... ...ack... k... na...graa...' - '' - 'I just had the worst dream...' - '' - 'Oh, b***ocks.' - ''

"Did someone eat my edamame ice pack?!"

Thoughtful kiddies' midnight snacks overtax my bulging slacks … The load I haul back to my shack is bigger than the one I packed.