Eternal Caller Gifts

'Oh, it's about what I expected...I'm on hold for eternity to some tech rep in India.'

'There is no past. No future. Only the present, which is changing every instant. Time is merely an illusion. Got it?'

"Damnit—Every game ends in stalemate."

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

'He never listened to his mother!'

"What can you tell me about the meaning of death?"

Psychic TV Guru & Cellular Phone Commercial Spin.

'I'm new up here...where are the men?'

'I have to hang up now. I'm getting some static on another line.'

Football Angel

"Wherever he is, I know he'll be upgraded."

"Nope. No mistake. You’ve been booked... forever."

Cemetary memorial shows PIN number never revealed to heirs.

Man flies with balloons to reach his angel

Homo Sapiens: always searching for answers.

Annuals, Perennials, and Eternals

"I had his name spelled wrong on purpose. It will drive him mad ...forever!"

I've reversed the aging process,,,

If you could change just one thing about yourself, what would it be? I'd totally wish to have my brain put into a robot body. That way I could live forever. Imagine living long enough to buy an iPhone 7000. Wrong answer. An alpha male never lets on that he's concerned about his mortality. You answer should have been nothing. That alpha male or female is not afraid of death, little buddy. I think I'd rather wait for the 7000-S. Stop it.

"Talk for all of eternity, just $29 a month."

A never ending 3D maze knot.

"We are currently experiencing a high volume of calls but your prayer is important to us so please stay on the line and one of our ....."

"Continuous piped music! No wonder so many opt for reincarnation."

'Oh look, it's Mr Palmer.'

"If that's humankind, I'm not here!"

"Deep down I'm really shallow."

'I can't get the childproof cap off.'

'Don't get me started - I could go on about infinity forever.'

Jerome Gurkenman, top representative to the end... and beyond.

"C'mon, kids...we're going to visit Tia Marisela. It's her birthday. Just remind me not to be rude. She loves to talk, talk, talk and I'm always interrupting. I should, you know, show her more respect."

(heaven): true, I came into and left the world naked, in-between a great legacy

Typical of Tim, thinking of his clients to the end!

"Joan has a 'young voice' for her age!"

"This really is heaven - unlimited free calling minutes."

"The End."