Eternal Life Seeker Gifts

'I can't get the childproof cap off.'

If you could change just one thing about yourself, what would it be? I'd totally wish to have my brain put into a robot body. That way I could live forever. Imagine living long enough to buy an iPhone 7000. Wrong answer. An alpha male never lets on that he's concerned about his mortality. You answer should have been nothing. That alpha male or female is not afraid of death, little buddy. I think I'd rather wait for the 7000-S. Stop it.

I've reversed the aging process,,,

'There is no past. No future. Only the present, which is changing every instant. Time is merely an illusion. Got it?'

'The village's oldest inhabitant? We did have one, but he died.'

"Wifey! Wifey! I've found the fountain of youth!"

'Sometimes I think about getting away from all this and get a job as a cab driver in New York city...'

"If it weren't for the Botox, right now I'd be so sharing your enthusiasm."

"What do you mean, 'I'm in good shape for a man of forty'? I'm only twenty-six!"

"I don't wanna 'adult' today."

"Meaning of life!!" "Meaning of 'Game of Thrones' series finale"

"They grow up so slow."

"Let's face it, Michele. We're not getting any older."

'Wow, Ed! You look so much younger! Cosmetic surgery?' 'No. Digital enhancement!'

'I'm sure I'm getting worry lines worring if this anti wrinkle cream is working!'

'You've been having your damn midlife crisis for eighteen years!'

"Welcome to Vanity Workshop. For the next thousand years you're to read out the size labels you've removed from your clothing."

Time = $. Time > $.

"Your immortality tonic may not be worth it, Sol."

"I heard raising your grandkids can help keep you young. Please tell me there's an easier way."

'It's saving us a fortune on retirement costs.'

A microbe using his macroscope to search for intelligent forms of life.

'The effects of aging are inevitable. Either accept it, or inject it.'

"When you talked me into eternal life, you left out the part about menopause."

Eventually, a point is reached where even the best cosmetic surgery begins to look more like taxidermy gone horribly wrong.

"It may very well bring about immortality, but it will take forever to test it."

"I'm pursuing the reason I was put on earth."

"In layman's terms, I just rewound your biological clock."

Man flies with balloons to reach his angel

'Cast off your material things...live the simple life...that will be 200 bucks.'

"It's great to finally be away from the city!"

"The gentleman opposite would like to buy you more time."

'Dear Abby: I continually find myself asking for advice from complete strangers. Please help.'

Old man: 'Good news! Scientists have doubled the lifespan of cockroaches.'

'This nip and tuck business - can I have the tuck without the nip?'