Immortality Seeker Gifts

"It may very well bring about immortality, but it will take forever to test it."

"Actually we were just looking for somewhere to warm up."

"I'm pursuing the reason I was put on earth."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"This could be the year someone actually goes up there."

Fishing with God

'If you want to live a long time, try not to do anything that will kill you.'

'Oh, I'm not a guru -- I'm just big on personal space.'

The Salesman

"How can you have a meteoric rise to the top in a one-story building?"

"Cloning is an imperfect science."

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

Guru.

'What can you wish for?!... Oh, I don't know... Infinite wealth, beautiful women throwing themselves at your feet, fame and admiration, perhaps?... But, don't let me influence you.'

"My daughter tells me you want to become a doctor."

'What I've learnt sitting on this mountain, alone for ten years, is how boring sitting alone on a mountain for ten years is!'

"All the celebrities come here."

"My lessons on Enlightenment are a prerequisite to my graduate-level course on Investing in Derivatives."

"You used to be that ambitious."

The discoverer of fire meets the discoverer of marijuana

"Take a look - that's us in ninety years."

"Obviously, I can't fly like you, but if you teach me, I can probably sing like you..."

Doctor to Banana: 'Looks like you're going to a ripe old age.'

'No, I didn't get a presidential pardon, but I got something better. God has forgiven me.'

"The doc says I won't even make it another 45 years."

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

"Oh f*ck yes. Let's make these f*ckers live for-f*cking-ever."

'I have the feeling my expiration date is nearly up.'

'I understand the Adirondacks are where it's REALLY happening.'

"That? Oh, it's last year's calendar."

"Two roads diverged in a wood and I... I... I..."

'You'll be spending a little time in pilates purgatory but don't worry, those guys work miracles.'

"If we had invented the phone and computer, we would be at the top of the food chain. What a blown opportunity."

'Wow! - Your diary is even more boring than MY diary!'