Afterlife Seeker Gifts

"My mother was ill and before she dies, she said 'look out for purple elephants, because when you see one, that's me contacting you.' I'm sad because I've never seen a purple elephant."

"How can you be out of wings?"

"Good game."

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"Actually, I'm still on life support. I just came by to do a feasibility study."

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

"Surgery up here is free!"

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

"Needs to get a life"

"All we have left is standing room only."

The Gospel According To Jane Brody"Orange, come in. Apple, come in. Hey you, frankfurter, hold it right there."

"It's true: no more burpees."

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

A surprise in heaven

"I do tech support for the cloud."

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

'Yeah, I know your idea of heaven is to play golf all day, but all we have is shuffleboard!'

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

Saint Peter will sometimes put on a disguise just to play a prank on the new arrivals.

Halo Frisbee.