Afterlife Adventurer Gifts

"In heaven we're all Border Collies."

Next, I remember looking down at my body, and my kids fighting over the will.

'If you don't believe in yourself, who will?'

'Could it be under another name?'

"Spent the first five years in Hell. I didn't sell my soul, I leased it."

A surprise in heaven

"Even if I did believe that he was communicating through you. I'm afraid it's too late to change the will now."

'Wait a minute! Aren't you the chap who refused planning permission on the St., Mary's church extension?'

That Was Fun - Let's Do It Again.

Gambling in Heaven - Losing your halo.

"I do tech support for the cloud."

St Peter: 'The bike can stay. You, on the other hand, aren't on the list.'

'So the age of light touch regulation really is over.'

'Just a one-hour pass. I'm a process server.'

'I'll have to put you on a waiting list - The birth rate is way down.'

"Wait a minute - you want me to play the harp??! You don't have karaoke up here? Then why are you calling it 'paradise?'"

'In your defense, I see you're not very bright. Most folks take the elevator.'

"I know this is heaven! This is the lightest I've ever been"

'Seriously, what if I don't have my death certificate or a photo I.D.?'

'What you did was not only 'wrong' - it was 'wrongedy-wrong-wrong'!'

'Wrong fork. Good Lord, man, don't you have any table manners?'

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

'The not so Grim Reaper'.

doughnuts

"The system crashed. You'll have to go back and live it again."

"Lately, I've become more spiritual, and less religious."

"I had no idea I was ill."

"Bad timing – he's in one of his Old testament moods today."

"In heaven you can pee on the carpet."

'Don't sweat it pal - you can always appeal. I'm a lawyer. I'd be happy to take on your case- pro bono, of course.'

"Any fruits or vegetables?"

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

"Wow, …. who does your voice-overs?"

Angel to overweight angel, 'You're going to have to lose some weight, Wilson.'