Afterlife Explorer Gifts

'I have no idea how you died, we don't have access to your medical records."

"Since you have a complete record of my life, could you tell me if I remembered to turn the stove off?"

"Actually, I'm still on life support. I just came by to do a feasibility study."

"This is Heaven, you idiot. Everything's perfect. There is no suggestion box."

'At least it's a dry heat'

Guy at the gates of heaven but has to go through a maze to get there

'The only way anyone gets in is on there knees.'

'I just had a near life experience! -What was it like?'

'Ok, I've gotta ask..do you actually like this job?'

'Oh... I always thought it was just an allegory...'

"Me, too - all my worldly goods are going to me!"

"What a relief."

Near-life experience.

'I choked on a vitamin tablet.'

'I can't believe I locked my keys inside, again!'

'I was told that I'd be in a better place now. . . I don't think so.'

'Let's not be difficult about this, Mr. Pettigrew.'

You've Got Questions, We've Got Answers.

'I mean, you can imagine my surprise -I'm an atheist.'

'What do you mean 'It could have been worse'?!'

"It's only a game."

'To be or not to be - well yes, but what about coma, trance, vegetative states, reincarnation, near death experience, cryogenics?'

'It may already be too late.'

'Good, you're up. Feeling any better?'

'Well, you SHOULD have taken it with you because there's a cover charge.'

'Nonsmoker, healthy diet, regular exercise. You put up a good little fight.'

'You're six months late. I hope you brought a note from your doctor.'

"Oh, we haven't used the term 'angel' for years. Now we're called 'Afterlife Associates.'"

"The last thing I said was 'These brownies are to die for'."

"OK, just between you and me: The free will thing? What was your angle in all that?"

'To be honest, rock n'roll isn't my thing at all, I'm much more a country n'western kinda guy.'

"This is probably where we'll part."

"Your mom needs to know that you made it here OK, and your dad wants to know if you could use a few bucks."

'Hope it's legit. I never had the chance to say good riddance.'

"Up, please."