Afterlife Explorer Pillows

'I have no idea how you died, we don't have access to your medical records."

"Since you have a complete record of my life, could you tell me if I remembered to turn the stove off?"

"Actually, I'm still on life support. I just came by to do a feasibility study."

"This is Heaven, you idiot. Everything's perfect. There is no suggestion box."

'At least it's a dry heat'

Guy at the gates of heaven but has to go through a maze to get there

'I just had a near life experience! -What was it like?'

'Ok, I've gotta ask..do you actually like this job?'

"Me, too - all my worldly goods are going to me!"

'Oh... I always thought it was just an allegory...'

"What a relief."

Near-life experience.

'I choked on a vitamin tablet.'

'Let's not be difficult about this, Mr. Pettigrew.'

'I was told that I'd be in a better place now. . . I don't think so.'

'Well, you SHOULD have taken it with you because there's a cover charge.'

"It's only a game."

'What do you mean 'It could have been worse'?!'

'You're six months late. I hope you brought a note from your doctor.'

'Nonsmoker, healthy diet, regular exercise. You put up a good little fight.'

'I mean, you can imagine my surprise -I'm an atheist.'

'Good, you're up. Feeling any better?'

You've Got Questions, We've Got Answers.

'To be or not to be - well yes, but what about coma, trance, vegetative states, reincarnation, near death experience, cryogenics?'

'It may already be too late.'

"I'm not happy to be here either, but having you end up here was on my bucket list."

'Hope it's legit. I never had the chance to say good riddance.'

"This is probably where we'll part."

'I wonder how much I should tip to get a good cloud?'

"Up, please."

"Surprising how few know you also get a harp down here to carry around for eternity."

'I know I said I'd be eternally in your debt, Haskins, but that was before eternity.'

"Oh, we haven't used the term 'angel' for years. Now we're called 'Afterlife Associates.'"

Gates of Heaven with a supermarket in background: 'Look! It really is heaven!'

Caveman in heaven:: 'I've been in pergatory for how long?'