Afterlife Exploration Gifts

"Before you died, did you have that moment of total clarity?" "Oh yes, it was totally clear I was about to get hit by a bus."

"Wait a minute - you want me to play the harp??! You don't have karaoke up here? Then why are you calling it 'paradise?'"

'Yeah, I know your idea of heaven is to play golf all day, but all we have is shuffleboard!'

"It's not what I was expecting."

'Hi! You're at the Pearly Gates Interactive Welcome Center. To hear harps and an angelic choir, press 1. To order a DVD of this very special ceremony, press 2. Press 3 if you'd like...'

Smoking in Hell. Smoker revels in Hells smoking policy.

It took the members of the seance almost 2 hours to make contact with Muriel but it was worth it."

Balloon Angel

'A WOMAN? -- Well, I'll be damned!'

'Computer error! What do you mean computer error?'

'I chose here since heaven won't allow you to take your bonus and golden parachute with you.'

Frank starts to reconsider his atheist beliefs.

'I know...I was expecting something different too...'

Center for Reincarnation Studies. Welcome back.

Reincarnation Dept. Can I live my life over again? No, we only offer sequels, not remakes.

"Oddly, I never felt more alive, then, 'wham'!"

"Certainly you're qualified, .… we're just trying to achieve a certain dynamic."

St Peter shaving the heads of angels

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

Cat Heaven vs Mouse Hell.

"Actually, I'm still on life support. I just came by to do a feasibility study."

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

"Surgery up here is free!"

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"I thought there would be bacon here."

The Gospel According To Jane Brody"Orange, come in. Apple, come in. Hey you, frankfurter, hold it right there."

Hell Separates Real Madrid and Barcelona fans.

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"All we have left is standing room only."

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'