Afterlife Explorers Gifts

'Don't get me wrong - hell is awful, but it could be so much more hellish. We have much to learn from them.'

'I still have trouble sleeping. I thought when I died I could rest in peace.'

"Wow, I've waited all my life to get here."

'It's too late for a second opinion, Mrs. Crenshaw.'

Heaven, Hell, Limbo.

'I died on the first day of the rest of my life.'

'Sure, you meek guys will inherit the Earth -- as long as you're ready to take over the payments.'

Pardon Me

"It's how I get someone's attention."

'Still clinging to life?'

"My guardian angel - you!"

Angel with you are here sign.

'Actually, when the travel agent suggested a heavenly vacation, I expected Tahiti or Hawaii.'

"Horace, what are we doing on the same cloud? Our vows said 'till death do us part.'"

It's a bit late for social distancing

"So much for death with dignity."

"That's a nice touch!"

Welcome to Hell - No Smoking

Rejects Notice in Heaven

Hilary and Jo-Anne thought integrated bars a mixed blessing.

"What do you have to do to get business class?"

"At least we've got plenty of time to catch up with the obituaries!"

"Come on, Tom ... get an afterlife, will ya?"

"After a thousand years you may receive a questionnaire on the quality of my torture. So if for any reason you think you can't give me all tens, please let me know."

"It turns out you can 'take it with you' if you pack correctly."

God throwing a lifebelt.

Welcome to the Reckoning

"I prefer 'murder survivor'."

The whole "lasts longer" thing isn't really necessary here in eternity.

Reincarnation section of a bookstore

'Give him a moment. He's not a morning person.'

"Everyone up here says that the first twenty centuries are the worse..."

Giftbags in Heaven and Hell.

'I'm a victim of identity theft.'

No goofy comment about coming back to life as a house cat!