Afterlife Enthusiasts Gifts

'Sorry, you've got to go back. I've got you penciled in for eight more months of suffering.'

"Nobody wants to hear our stories about death from natural causes."

"It was heaven before this."

Self-Help Books For The Newly Dead

'This explains why there are bars on the gate.'

You can't come in. You're pure, but boring.

'Oh dear. I don't know a soul.'

'Limbo allows us time to get all the paperwork done.'

'Remember that part about 'til death do us part'? Well, it's been nice knowing you.'

'Yes, that's my final answer!'

'Next! Come on we haven't got all day!'

'Is it just me or do birthdays seem to come round much quicker now?'

'It's still hard to believe that we'll never have to go to the bathroom again!'

'Pig flu??!'

'Fill these out.'

Employees entrance.

"C'mon, would it really be heaven if you couldn't bring it with you?"

"Here he is, folks, straight from his deathbed in Jersey City, a beautiful guy—let's hear a nice round of applause for . . ."

'Hi big bank. Still owe 8K on credit card. LOL.'

"Charitable giving, recycling, compassion for the poor and needy. . . good, good. . . quick look at the social med - Holy Mother Of God!"

"It's a belated, get well soon card."

"Just what I thought... Bad shock absorbers."

'NOW I found out I could have been a rock star!'

"The irony of this situation is that next week you're going to win the lottery...!"

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

'I'm still pretty unwell, I'm not sure if I'll be in the office tomorrow.'

'Oh no. I seem to be suffering from Post Life Syndrome.'

"More proof there's an afterlife."

"Just one more question - Do you prefer Monty Python or Benny Hill?"

"It looks as though plan A has backfired!"

"Let's see now... ummm... one whack on the snout with a rolled up newspaper, and I can let you in."

"Not until you get rid of that 'death' smell."

"That brings us to your search history."

'I can't stop, I've left my car running.'

"That wasn't there this morning!"