Afterlife Fanatics Gifts

Some make better deals than others.

"Since you tithed from the 'net' and not the 'gross', you're going to Hog Heaven instead."

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

Devil's food cake/Angel's food cake. Delivery mix-up.

"Surgery up here is free!"

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"All we have left is standing room only."

'We've re-branded.'

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

The Reaper's Arms

Get out of the way, Harold - I'm trying to talk to Cuddles.

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

"Why so grim, handsome?"

"From this you make a living?"

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

'You think this is hot. Try having hot flashes, too.'

"I was a primary school teacher. What did you do?"

"Sorry, we first have to do a background check."

"Imagine There's No Heaven. It's Easy If You Try..."

"Oh nooo, we can't skip church. Why, we'll just sleep when we're dead!"

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

Gates of heaven

CartoonStock Upload

A Male Angel throwing his Halo as a Frisbee for his Dog to catch.

"As we're here for eternity, I expected at least a television."

'Even down here we never lose our sense of humor!'

"Yes, this is heaven - but we need some source of funding, too."

'Can't talk now, I'm just going into a tunnel.'

"We use the proceeds to help offset the cost of your eternal salvation."

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

Post-psychoanalysis

"Wow. I just had a near life experience!"