The Afterlife Enthusiast Gifts

'You may choose either everlasting life or whatever is behind the curtain.'

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"Surgery up here is free!"

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

Devil's food cake/Angel's food cake. Delivery mix-up.

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

"It's true: no more burpees."

"All we have left is standing room only."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

"Needs to get a life"

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

A surprise in heaven

'We've re-branded.'

"I do tech support for the cloud."

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

The Reaper's Arms

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

Halo Frisbee.

'This is way better than a litter box.'

Saint Peter will sometimes put on a disguise just to play a prank on the new arrivals.

Get out of the way, Harold - I'm trying to talk to Cuddles.

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

I used to love coming here. Nudist beach.

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

'You sloth and gluttony guys have it easy -- I'm here for envy!'

Free ticket to heaven... details inside