Afterlife Fan Gifts

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"Surgery up here is free!"

"All we have left is standing room only."

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

'We've re-branded.'

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

The Reaper's Arms

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

"From this you make a living?"

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

"I was a primary school teacher. What did you do?"

"Sorry, we first have to do a background check."

'Even down here we never lose our sense of humor!'

"Oh nooo, we can't skip church. Why, we'll just sleep when we're dead!"

"As we're here for eternity, I expected at least a television."

A Male Angel throwing his Halo as a Frisbee for his Dog to catch.

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Gates of heaven

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

"Yes, this is heaven - but we need some source of funding, too."

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

'Can't talk now, I'm just going into a tunnel.'

Post-psychoanalysis

"From here on out it's term and conditions."