Afterlife Fan Club Gifts

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"Surgery up here is free!"

Devil's food cake/Angel's food cake. Delivery mix-up.

"All we have left is standing room only."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

'We've re-branded.'

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

The Reaper's Arms

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

Get out of the way, Harold - I'm trying to talk to Cuddles.

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

"From this you make a living?"

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

..and with our new spirit website you can keep in touch with all your dead friends!

'You think this is hot. Try having hot flashes, too.'

"I was a primary school teacher. What did you do?"

"Sorry, we first have to do a background check."

"Oh nooo, we can't skip church. Why, we'll just sleep when we're dead!"

Gates of heaven

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A Male Angel throwing his Halo as a Frisbee for his Dog to catch.

'Even down here we never lose our sense of humor!'

"As we're here for eternity, I expected at least a television."

"Yes, this is heaven - but we need some source of funding, too."

'Hold on, pal! Who's in control of the narrative here?'

"Hey! You were that old sourpuss who worked at the motor vehicles department!"

"We use the proceeds to help offset the cost of your eternal salvation."

'Can't talk now, I'm just going into a tunnel.'

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

Post-psychoanalysis

"No, you're going to hell - but you're welcome to check out the gift shop."