Afterlife Humor Fans Gifts

"All right. You can keep it as long as you're on hold, but then you have to turn it in."

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"Surgery up here is free!"

"All we have left is standing room only."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

Get out of the way, Harold - I'm trying to talk to Cuddles.

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

"You run into a window, too?"

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

"I was a primary school teacher. What did you do?"

A Male Angel throwing his Halo as a Frisbee for his Dog to catch.

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"Oh nooo, we can't skip church. Why, we'll just sleep when we're dead!"

Gates of heaven

'Even down here we never lose our sense of humor!'

"Did you really think you were getting in here?"

"As we're here for eternity, I expected at least a television."

"Yes, this is heaven - but we need some source of funding, too."

'Can't talk now, I'm just going into a tunnel.'

"Hey! You were that old sourpuss who worked at the motor vehicles department!"

'Ha! You moron! How did you manage to use all nine of your lives at once?'

"We use the proceeds to help offset the cost of your eternal salvation."

'Listen, if they didn't have alcohol in heaven, it wouldn't be heaven!'

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

Post-psychoanalysis

Heaven

"No, you're going to hell - but you're welcome to check out the gift shop."

'Hold on, pal! Who's in control of the narrative here?'

"You get a white robe, a halo, wings, and of course, free WIFI."

Life on cloud 8

Door sign states: Reincarnation studies Come again ... and again.