Afterlife Humor Hub Gifts

'I couldn't get the cap off the prescription bottle. What did you die of?'

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

"You run into a window, too?"

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

"Did you really think you were getting in here?"

'Ha! You moron! How did you manage to use all nine of your lives at once?'

"I'll have whatever they're having."

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

Special Place in Hell...

"Johnson's selling ad space in the tunnel of light."

"Ready? It's your bloopers tape."

Arnold had not been much of a saint in his life and now he paid the price.

'Apparently my ex's idea of heaven was to punch me in the eye.'

I'm afraid of heights.

Heaven on the Phone to Hell - 'We've got Sky.'

"Of course we have unlimited data..."

"Hey you!. . . Get off of my cloud!"

"User name and password?"

"Don't you hate that? Now I think of the perfect last words!"

"Soul patch. What do you think?"

'Well yes. I guess it makes you look taller.'

'I didn't know Heaven had another entrance?'

Grave with satellite dish.

"Murchison is still in denial."

'I led a long and happy life. Twenty business cycles.'

'Frankly, your credit score concerns me.'

'That was Larry...always trying to improve himself.'

"All right. You can keep it as long as you're on hold, but then you have to turn it in."

'Yeah, I tried that once.'

Flight Insurance for Angels.

'Sorry. No football supporters.'

'You must be new here. Most of us just hang around in our bathrobes'

"Well, well, well... We meet again at last!"

'You'll need a username and password to enter...'

Boy, you were this close to getting in until I checked these photos of you on Facebook.