Afterlife Humor Buff Gifts

'Can I be someone else's Guardian Angel? The guy's a bleeder.'

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

'We've re-branded.'

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

The Reaper's Arms

"You run into a window, too?"

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

"From this you make a living?"

"Sorry, we first have to do a background check."

"Did you really think you were getting in here?"

'Ha! You moron! How did you manage to use all nine of your lives at once?'

"Sorry, there's no toilet paper or hand sanitizer down here."

"From here on out it's term and conditions."

"Wow. I just had a near life experience!"

'Listen, if they didn't have alcohol in heaven, it wouldn't be heaven!'

"Your PA isn't due up here for another 27 years. You'll just have to answer the questions yourself."

"Guess what, Margaret. I've been upsourced."

Last Chance To take Selfie For All Eternity.

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

Special Place in Hell...

'So far, so good -- I got a second interview!'

"I'll have whatever they're having."

"I have grave news."

'What's the wi-fi like?'

There, Their, They're

'You'll have to wait a couple of minutes... we're still downloading information from your soul's black box recorder.'

'Let's see...yes, there is a wing upgrade for a soul patch.'

"It's not just you, Reverend, we make it clear to everyone, we don't want any trouble up here."

"Don't mention it."

"Andy...Andy...I'm not finding...let me check my spam folder..."

'So it wasn't b*****t after all.'