Afterlife Humor Buff Pillows

'Can I be someone else's Guardian Angel? The guy's a bleeder.'

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

Devil's food cake/Angel's food cake. Delivery mix-up.

'We've re-branded.'

The Reaper's Arms

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

"You run into a window, too?"

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

"From this you make a living?"

'You think this is hot. Try having hot flashes, too.'

"Sorry, we first have to do a background check."

"Did you really think you were getting in here?"

Deviled HamDeviled Eggs.

"Sorry, there's no toilet paper or hand sanitizer down here."

'Ha! You moron! How did you manage to use all nine of your lives at once?'

"From here on out it's term and conditions."

"Wow. I just had a near life experience!"

'Listen, if they didn't have alcohol in heaven, it wouldn't be heaven!'

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

Special Place in Hell...

'Whoa Hold up, You need to get you hand stamped,'

"Guess what, Margaret. I've been upsourced."

'So far, so good -- I got a second interview!'

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"Your PA isn't due up here for another 27 years. You'll just have to answer the questions yourself."

"I have grave news."

"I'll have whatever they're having."

Last Chance To take Selfie For All Eternity.

'What's the wi-fi like?'

There, Their, They're

'You'll have to wait a couple of minutes... we're still downloading information from your soul's black box recorder.'

'So it wasn't b*****t after all.'

'Let's see...yes, there is a wing upgrade for a soul patch.'

"At least you get to stay until after your hearing."

"It's not just you, Reverend, we make it clear to everyone, we don't want any trouble up here."