Afterlife Aficionados Gifts

'He's still in his probationary period.'

Who was who.

"It's amazing how some people manage to make all of eternity seem even longer."

"On the plus side it's nice and warm here."

"For someone who's supposed to be omniscient, I've noticed he calls all the new guys 'buddy.'"

"Attorney at law? You're a little late don'tcha think."

Devil climbing ladder into heaven.

'Even down here we never lose our sense of humor!'

'Jack gets all the privileges of being dead, without the bother.'

'We're not actually full, we just keep a line outside to make the place look good...'

'Now our above 'o's begin to make some sense.'

The Uncertainty of the Afterlife...

'It's a match made in Heaven.'

'We can't have lifts because the competition snapped up Mr Otis.'

"I miss the lawyers."

'My money's still working, only now it's working for my ungrateful children.'

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"Surgery up here is free!"

"All we have left is standing room only."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"It's true: no more burpees."

'We've re-branded.'

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

The Reaper's Arms

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

"From this you make a living?"

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

"Sorry, we first have to do a background check."

"I was a primary school teacher. What did you do?"

'Why can't we go on a field trip to heaven?