Afterlife Fan T-Shirts

"Don't look so smug - you only got the job because we can't be seen to be discriminating against the living."

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"Surgery up here is free!"

Devil's food cake/Angel's food cake. Delivery mix-up.

"All we have left is standing room only."

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

'We've re-branded.'

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

The Reaper's Arms

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

Get out of the way, Harold - I'm trying to talk to Cuddles.

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

"From this you make a living?"

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

'You think this is hot. Try having hot flashes, too.'

"I was a primary school teacher. What did you do?"

"Sorry, we first have to do a background check."

"Oh nooo, we can't skip church. Why, we'll just sleep when we're dead!"

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

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"As we're here for eternity, I expected at least a television."

A Male Angel throwing his Halo as a Frisbee for his Dog to catch.

'Even down here we never lose our sense of humor!'

Gates of heaven

"Yes, this is heaven - but we need some source of funding, too."

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

"We use the proceeds to help offset the cost of your eternal salvation."

Post-psychoanalysis

"No, you're going to hell - but you're welcome to check out the gift shop."

"Hey! You were that old sourpuss who worked at the motor vehicles department!"