Afterlife Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Sorry for the racket... there are billions of dogs up here, and they get a little excited when someone's at the gate."

"I just feel we'd know more people in Hell."

'He insisted on taking it with him.'

"These records are inaccurate, out of date and misleading. Haven't you got a priv

"You'll never get that past security."

"That's it? Salesman of the month, August '87?"

'I'm afraid you did commit all these sins, sir. Would you like to see the video?'

'I realize that this may be carping, but I never did live long enough to enjoy my I.R.A. account.'

"This merger is to give us a better grip on our respective markets."

Man Crosses Finish Line At Heaven's Pearly Gates

"Then it's agreed. Watson, Smith, Teller, and Wilson go to Heaven; Jones, Paducci, and Horner go to Hell; and Fenton and Miller go to arbitration."

Life on cloud 8

"Anything's possible if you know the right people."

"Sorry I'm late, but it took them a week to determine that I was legally dead."

'Smoking or non?'

'Apparently it's no longer cost effective.'

'We've always used profiling.'

'Take this pager. It will light up when we're ready for you.'

'To be honest, I was a little disappointed. It's hard for a place like this to live up to the hype.'

'Well, I don't know anything about 'identity theft'. All I can tell you, is that according to these records you're already here.'

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'See you next week Lazarus.'

'You're dead. But don't worry ? it sounds a lot worse than it is.'

'Another stupid near-death experience. Try not to take it personally.'

Halo Repair

"Sir, I'm sorry to inform you, but you won't be going through the gate today. We do have this lovely hand basket that'll be taking you to your destination."

'It's been three days. I think we can safely say that their efforts to resuscitate you have failed.'

"And lastly, for all eternity, French, blue cheese, or ranch?"

Ghost appears to be struggling within sheet. Fellow ghost says: 'I warned you never to use fitted sheets.'

Good - Bad - Don't know.

'How you lived your life used to count for something. Nowadays it's largely based on first impressions.'

'He'll need time to adjust -- he was a Unitarian.'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

"Plausible deniability doesn't work here, sir."

'Hey look! There's people up here too!'