Past Life Explorers Gifts

'Apparently I was wrong about you being Elvis in a past life.. It turns out you were an Elvis impersonator.'

"Actually, I'm still on life support. I just came by to do a feasibility study."

Road Forks in the Road: No Way and Yes Way.

'Don't ask me why but he feels a great deal of pride in calling it his 'man-cave'.'

'Oh, crap.'

The Gospel According To Jane Brody"Orange, come in. Apple, come in. Hey you, frankfurter, hold it right there."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

"Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!"

"Damnit—Every game ends in stalemate."

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

'Look man, no wings!'

"Really? That's the only game in this house?"

'The stage hypnotist was great, he regressed Jeff to a previous life, and discovered that he was a layabout then, too.'

"It turns out you can 'take it with you' if you pack correctly."

"It's going to be huge! Cheese-flavored vodka!"

Orientation: Welcome to Hell

"Your mom needs to know that you made it here OK, and your dad wants to know if you could use a few bucks."

"I became a mentor because I needed more direction in life."

'Your deceased husband keeps saying: don't call him. He'll call you.'

The Suite Hereafter

"He says he's been sending you messages from beyond the grave but it's possible they're going straight into your junk folder."

"Must we have ten minutes blasphemy every night?"

Going Down?

"Hey, Bob. Things haven't been quite the same since Richard Attenborough arrived here, have they?"

The Final Selfie

'The only way anyone gets in is on there knees.'

"Great, now we're lost."

"Please....wait...the...meeting...host...will....let you...in....soon."

"Imagine There's No Heaven. It's Easy If You Try..."

"Your husband says BOO!"

'It's only fair Geraldine. I had to meet your parents.'

'Put that down your fool! It's a bone of contention.'

'Hope it's legit. I never had the chance to say good riddance.'

'I'm new here...how can you tell the real 'Elvis' from the impersonators?'